It always strikes my funny bone when friends and family alike, call me and ask how was my first week of school. I genuinely laugh each time and I say a piece of cake. Afterall, the first week(s) of school are always a piece of cake.
The students want each of their teachers to like them. They want to be viewed as an angel that does their work and that is well mannered, with a side of self control. Unfortunately, this desire does not last long for many students.
Eventually their masks begin to slip and fall, and the real them is revealed. The version that knows how to look busy, but doesn’t actually complete any work. The side of them that rolls their eyes , talks back, and has an attitude when they don’t get their way. Oh, and let’s not forget the part of them that will talk to anybody, and I mean anybody you sit them next to.
I could go on and on for days on the major switch-ups that our students do to us, after the first weeks of school honeymoon is over. But what difference would that make? What we need now as teachers is to develop a plan to combat this issue head on. Before it’s too late.
And by too late, I mean, before we lose complete and utter control over our classrooms. You see, it is natural for the honeymoon to end. What is not okay, is not quickly, abruptly, at the first signs of trouble, snatching your students back into following your expectations.
How might one go about this you may ask? Well my fellow educators, I am going to line it all out for you here.
What to do When the First Weeks of School Honeymoon is over
1) Nip It in the Bud
Let’s face it. Kids will be kids. They will only get away with what you allow them to get away with. This means, they have to test you several times to see what you will and will not let slide…consistently. They are not fazed by you putting your foot down on the same topic once or twice.
Actually, research shows that students, on average, test boundaries 3-5 times before they willingly fall in line. Letting even the smallest infractions “go,” sets the tone for undermining. Allowing your authority inside your classroom to be disrespected. This is the pivotal time to address every behavior that veers off course.
When the first weeks of school honeymoon is over, let nothing slide. Not even the smallest lack of compliance. Show your students that you will sacrifice their learning, their grade, and their access to privileges, when they are resistant to your classroom expectations.
2) Be Consistent
Being consistent does mean to be unwavering about when you enforce your rules. You should only be making exceptions to your rules 1% of the time, and it only for extreme and rare cases.
That being said, the other part of being consistent is enforcing the rules, no matter who the student is. Teachers are human. We naturally have students that we gravitate to more than others. The key is for you to know who your favorites are, and for your students to have no clue who your favorites are.
Usually where teachers mess up, is they enforce the rules unequally. The kid that tends to misbehave more, barely does their work. The teacher throws the book of rules at them if they breathe wrong. However, if it is one of our favorite students, we tend to give them several free passes.
The “bad” kid sees it. Heck, all the other kids see it. Doing this kills your credibility and lessens your ability to have control of your classroom. Students are more likely to follow the rules, when the rules apply to everyone.
Once the first weeks of school honeymoon is over, if rules only apply to some, you start to lose the respect of the majority of your students. You will then begin to notice that you are receiving lots of pushback, and intentional misbehavior.
3) Avoid Power Struggles
In a previous post, “Hold Expectations, Not Grudges: Navigating Student-Teacher Conflict,” I address this and other related topics for holding students accountable. If you have not read that one yet, I highly recommend it. Perhaps you are more interested in knowing how to handle student defiance without getting into a power struggle, check out the post, “Or Else: When Students Refuse.”
While all teachers crave compliance, creating a confrontation in front of the entire class is a no-no. The student will automatically feel as if they have to buck up at you, as all their peers are watching and listening. Try to have a more personal conversation with the student, usually in the hallway when possible.
No matter how much we step into the role of parents, teachers are not the parents of their students. That being said, we should not give out right ultimatums. Instead, always offer options. By providing choices, this gives the student a false sense of control. I say false sense, because, the options you do not want them to pick, should come with less favorable outcomes on the students behalf.
In the event they pick one of those less favorable options, they cannot be upset with you. Simply because, they selected it themselves. Always be sure to state that, “If you don’t choose, I will have to decide for you.” Again disarming the student of being able to be angry with you, if you make the choice for them. All in all, when the first weeks of school honeymoon is over, you are simply trying to foster respect. Without losing control of your classroom.
4) Keep it, “In House”
What exactly do I mean by keeping it in house? I am referring to managing as many of your behavior issues yourself, inside your own classroom. You must be prepared to dish out disciplinary consequences to your students. The more you outsource your consequences, the less your students will mind and respect you.
If the only way you can get your students in line is to call their parents every other day, or write them on a referral so an administrator can handle it, or to send them out to other classrooms for another teacher to give them a good talking to. Then you in fact are losing the war.
As the first weeks of school honeymoon comes to end, your students will only begin to honor and respect you, once you show them your willingness and your ability to manage discipline…consistently. When you address issues directly, and also in a fair manner, you are establishing clear boundaries. Allowing an environment to develop where students know that you will follow through on your expectations, instantly.
5) Reward the Right
Very rarely will a teacher encounter a class where 100% of the students are knuckleheads. That being said, a great method of getting your students back on track, is to reward the few, the proud, the compliant.
Positive reinforcement will not only motivate those students doing right, to continue to keep up the good work. It will also send a very powerful message to the ones who are not. A bit of healthy jealousy can spark a desire for them to get on board.
Once the first weeks of school honeymoon ends, highlighting the behaviors you want to continue is key. Using positive reinforcement encourages others to follow suit. When students see their peers being praised, rewarded, or enjoying special privileges, it lights a fire in them. Opening the door for fostering a classroom culture where doing the right thing becomes the norm.
Conclusion
While the honeymoon phase is enjoyable for everyone, it is important for teachers to remember it does not last forever. Knowing this, the key is to be ready when students’ behavior starts to shift. As soon as you see those first signs of the “mask” slipping, you need to act quickly and decisively.
If you can catch it when the mask has only slipped, and has not yet fallen off, then you stand a chance of still having an amazing school year. Addressing even minor infractions and reinforcing your expectations will prevent larger issues from taking root, and give you a stronger chance of maintaining your ideal classroom environment throughout the year.
However, if you allow behaviors to go by unchecked, the consequences can be astronomical. The longer students are allowed to test your limits, the harder it becomes to reel them back in. Unwanted and unchecked behaviors can escalate, creating the risk of losing complete control of your classroom. At this point, all masks are off, and restoring order will be an uphill battle—one that could take weeks or even months to overcome.
The good news is that you can avoid this scenario by nipping issues in the bud early on. Be consistent, avoid power struggles, handle discipline within your classroom, and reward those students who are doing the right thing. Doing this enables you to create a classroom culture where respect, compliance, and positive behavior thrive. Ensuring that you, and your students, can still have an amazing school year…even after the honeymoon phase has ended.
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