Collaborate or Else: When Students Refuse to Work in Groups

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Disclaimer

Disclaimer. This post Collaborate or else is going to give you some amazing advice that really works. However, none of it comes out of a textbook or is backed by research. It has been developed, tested, and approved by the rough Title I, Inner-City, “Hood” school environment. If you choose to proceed, please do so with an open mind. Some of my methods are unorthodox, but they do get results.

The Usual Suspects

At some point and time I am sure every educator has said to themselves, “It Can’t Just Be Me.” You want to do this cool game or activity in your classroom, but there is always at least one student who down right refuses to work with others.

The list of usual suspects are the shy or introverted student. The one who will work in a group but not with the people you assigned them to work with. You even get the ones who have no reason other than, “I just don’t want to.” Plain and simple they clearly in defiant mode. Choosing that specific day to feel like testing your boundaries.

In either scenario, precious class time is ticking away. You have to make some decisions quickly, or you will lose the rest of your class. You really want to blurt out collaborate or else! But, if you handle any of these situations the wrong way, there could be negative consequences on all fronts.

What is a teacher to do? Well my friend, that is exactly what I am here to help you navigate.

Create a Culture of Collaboration the First Weeks of School

Since collaboration is large part of my classroom culture, I start building it the first week of school. Yes, the first week of school my students complete two collaboration activities. At those times I give my disclaimer that they will be working in groups multiple times a week.

I also inform them that I will be pushing them outside of their comfort zones when it comes to group work and communication. Along with this, I make mention that I will build them up to it the best I can. However, at the same time, they will need to meet me halfway and trust the process.

Now that I have gotten that out of the way. I know most of you are rolling your eyes because you are reading this during the school year. Well past the first weeks of school. In the loving words of Steve Urkel, “No Sweat My Pet.” There is still much that can be done to get your students to collaborate or else.

The Defiant Student

We will begin with the defiant student. The one who does not want to work in a group because, “They just don’t want to.” The absolute worse thing you can do in this situation is to blatantly tell them to collaborate or else. Or even worse, get into a power struggle with them in front of the entire class.

Contrary to what most teachers believe, we actually do not have any control over any of our students. The best we can do is to lay out our expectations. Then provide negative or positive consequences that accompany the decisions they make.

What to Say

All that being said. For the defiant student, gently remind them that collaboration is considered participation and it is required for this activity. That if they are refusing to collaborate, then they are technically refusing to participate, which can result in them not receiving a grade for the day.

There is a 50/50 chance that this particular warning will motivate them in your favor. In the event that it does not, I remind them that I other students waiting for me to teach them. If they are having an off day and do not want to participate, then I can arrange for them to go a neighboring classroom.

During this time they can use it to cool down and reset so we can try again tomorrow. I also emphasize that if they do go to the other classroom, they have received a zero for the day. Reason being that they technically did not participate in the assigned in-class activity for the period.

What to Do

Ideally we would like for this student to cave and collaborate or else. And often times they will. Especially if they know you are serious about giving them a zero for the day, and that you genuinely have a culture of collaboration in your room. By giving the student a choice, in essence they picked their own poison and cannot accuse you of “targeting” them.

If they are willing to comply, you simply say, “Thank you for being open-minded today. I am excited to have you stay and join us for what we are about to do.” If they do not comply, you politely give them instructions. Let them know whose classroom they will spend the remainder of the period in, and provide them with something to work. Always send an assignment so they do not disrupt the other class.

I make it a point the next day, to have a one-on-one conversation in the hall. Typically before they enter the classroom at all. I ask them if they are doing better today. Also if there is anything they need from me to feel more comfortable working in groups. I do this as temperature check, also to show compassion. This way the student does not come in with animosity from the previous day.

The “I don’t Like Them,” Student

I would like to say that by the time students get to high school, you don’t have to enforce collaborate or else. That they are able to get along with mostly everyone. Even harness the skills to put aside differences and feelings for the greater good of completing the work. This is not always the case. If a student refuses to work in a group, and it is not something along the lines of being bullied or threatened by someone in the group, then I proceed with my tactics.

Another exception is if there is some underlying beef between them and another student in the group. Since I teach in the hood, there have been occasions where neighborhood beef spills into school. Directly between them or indirectly because of friends or family. I do keep students separate in this case as well.

What to Say

If none of the above mentioned are in play, then next up is my life lesson spiel. As I continue to implement my mission of collaborate or else. I ask the refusing student, “Do you think I like every adult on this campus I have to work with?” Of course they reply, “No.” I say, “Exactly, but would the principal be okay with me not doing my job just because I don’t like someone? Am I allowed to come to work and give less than my best because I don’t like someone?” Yet again, they reply with, “No.”

I tie it all together by saying, “Exactly, because it is about business. What I need to do at work to give my students the best they deserve, is about business. Sometimes I have to put personal things aside so I can do what I need to do for you all.

I don’t talk to most of the people at this school outside of this campus. But when I am here we have to collaborate to make this a great place for you all to be. You don’t have to be best friends, but respect each other enough to be polite, cordial, and stay focused on the task at hand.”

What to Do

At the end of that whole life lesson, usually the student is willing to give it a try. In the event that they still won’t give into collaborate or else, I give them the same option I would give the defiant student. Either they can participate and earn their grade for the day, or go to a neighboring class without earning a grade for the day.

Why didn’t I offer for them to work in a different group? Simple, the moment I did that and there was no mental or physical safety concern, I would have 3 more students do the same thing the next time I do a group activity. Trust and believe the rest of the class is listening and watching intensely. If they see that you cave for one student, others will press their luck the next time.

The moment you try to throw collaborate or else at them, you bet your bottom dollar, they will throw this most recent incident in your face as Exhibit A. Number one piece of evidence as to why you have to let them to it too. I instill in my students that yes, you do have the ability to make your own decisions. But, what you do not have the ability to do is to alter the culture in my classroom, or the nature of my assignments.

The Shy – Introvert

When we are dealing with students that have this personality type, I know the title collaborate or else can sound quit harsh. In a way it kind of is. There are students that unfortunately suffer from social anxiety. Then there are students that have learned what to say or do over the years, to weasel their way out of working with others.

I ask you, what boss is going to accept the excuse of, “I don’t like people” as to why they cannot produce and perform as expected for their job? I can tell you, not very many. At best that boss will end up pointing them in the direction of jobs they can do that may be better suited for their social meter.

What to Say

I do handle these students with compassion and care. I tend to hold their hand a little more during the collaborate or else stage. Acting as a familiar landing place while they are working in groups works wonders. I provide them with suggestions for things they can say or do to start inserting themselves into the group dynamic. I also coach the other students in the group on things they can say or do to include the refusing student.

Wait, wait, what did you miss? How did we go from the student refusing to work in the group to them working in the group? First I ask them what would make them feel more comfortable with their group members. If they don’t know then I ask them, if they would like me to join their group for a few minutes to help them get more comfortable.

If this does not work I explain to them about the culture of my class, and that collaboration is not going anywhere. That I would like for them to try to be brave today and try something different. Emphasizing that I am willing to do baby steps until they feel safe. The important thing is for us to face our fears in a healthy way. I also let them know that working with others is a life skill and if they start working on it now, then they will soon be an expert at it.

It is true that too much pushing during the collaborate or else stage can break a student that is in a fragile state during that moment. For this child, I say, I will give you one get out of group work for free card. If you use it today, that means you don’t have one for the rest of the year, and you will have to work in a group no matter what. I then ask if they want to use it today, or are they willing to give it a try if I work with them too.

What to Do

I move forward with whatever that student feels in the moment. Sometimes they use their card, but also understand what the expectation is moving forward. Other times they say they are going to save it. Then do their best to collaborate. In my experience, if a student saves it, they don’t end up using it later. During collaborate or else, it is important to allow the shy/introverted student the opportunity to process their feelings, and the current and future expectations.

If you do end up sending them to cool down in another class, do not penalize or threaten to penalize their grade. You just tell them how excited you are to work with them on the next group activity.

What’s the Difference?

What is the difference during collaborate or else between the shy/introvert and the other two types of students? Well, the defiant and the “I just don’t want to work with them student,” are wanting their own way because, they want their way.

While the shy/introverted student is willing but does not have the social skills or confidence to do it at this time. This is why handling them with compassion and allowing space for them to process is essential. It builds trust, and they will be more willing to step out on a limb with you next time. Eventually succumbing to collaborate or else.

Conclusion

There is an expectation from students that teachers are fair. Fair meaning, they treat everyone the same, they don’t show favoritism. If you can see, I handled all three types of students differently, but also the same. Let me break that down. I gave each student what they needed in the moment, but held all 3 to the same expectation, that collaboration is an unwavering requirement in my classroom. Solidifying the concept of collaborate or else.

The approach was different, but the message was the same. To the rest of my class that were watching the entire time, they saw me stand my ground. Which is major in maintaining respect. They also saw me give every student the opportunity to make their own choice, which is equally important in maintaining respect. Keeping in mind that no one, likes to be, “told” what to do.

Yes, I tend to make their options for choices lopsided. If you don’t pick the choice of what I am asking you to do, then there is this pretty unfavorable option waiting for you. If you do chose what I would like you to do, it can also seem unfavorable because you, “caved” but in the long run it helps more than it hurts. Ultimately it is your choice.

Collaborate or else is a choice. However, collaboration is part of life, and if we allow our students to find a loophole, or an out. You better believe they are going to take it, and bring 4 more students through that hole with them. I don’t just teach math, I also teach life.

I work with my students on long-term mindsets that they will need to pull from in adulthood. Whenever I am attempting to push them past their comfort zone, I make sure to highlight that this is bigger than today’s class activity. Also that I care enough about them to want them to have the skills they will need as an adult. They may not like it in the moment, but deep down they actually appreciate it, and know that I am right.